by Marni Battista
What is the number one thing men are CRAVING for when it comes to relationship? Simple — a woman who is confident, secure and feminine.
They are clear on one thing; a woman who, despite her beauty, good humor, kindness and tight butt, needs excessive reassurance is someone who quickly becomes an albatross. These men are searching for a woman who loves herself so deeply that she never depends on validation from her partner to make her feel lovable, worthwhile and attractive.
Here are a few “signs” you most likely need to focus your efforts on yourself before you embark on a journey towards loving someone else.
1. You ask questions like, “Does this make me look fat,” “Why did you do (or say) that?,” or “Do you still love me?” The Dating With Dignity men joke that these questions, which are commonly asked by women in relationships, are among the most annoying questions a women can ask. They call them a complete, “turn off,” and no answer would be the right one. If your clothes are too tight, you know it! Last, don’t ask a man if he loves you. Ever. Words and actions must match. If your man has told you he loves you but begins to pull away, there is a better way to check in on his feelings towards you.
2. You say things like, “Just hold me,” even though your man has been spending time with you being affectionate, cuddling and/or giving you attention. Mat Boggs describes it perfectly in his “Cracking the Man Code” Seminar when he states that men need short, attainable goals to feel successful. Men want to please women, in fact, they need to feel like they are your Knight in Shining Armor to keep on keepin’ on. That said, when he does his best to give you attention, holds on to you while you watch Entourage or Monday Night Football, or reads his book nearby while you give yourself a manicure, let him go away when he needs his space.
3. You are jealous and weirded out when you see issues of HFM, Maxim, or Playboy in his bedroom, or see old pictures of him with his girlfriend. The truth is, your man had an entire life before you met him. A woman who is threatened by these relationships, past and present, is at risk of turning-off the man with whom they are in love. If your man consistently shows he loves you, then you have no reason to fear the past.
4. You relate to songs like, “My Life Would Suck Without You,” “No Air,” and “Lost Without Your Love.” The truth is, that when you love yourself and have created an amazing life that is interdependent with your partner’s life, you don’t think your life would suck without him. When you have a deep sense of self, confidence, a community of friends, a profession you find fulfilling and self-love, your life never sucks. Ever!!
Want more of Marni? Check out www.datingwithdignity.com
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