Welcome to this week’s edition of, Release Your Inner Millionairess

by Amy Applebaum

Mind Your Thinking!

We all have a tendency to torture ourselves with negative, self-destructive thoughts from time to time. You know that familiar, nagging voice that says stuff like:

“I’m never going to have money.”

“I’m never going to be successful.”

“I’m a lousy communicator.”

“I’m not smart enough.”

Sound familiar? The only way to pull yourself out of this trap is to actively SHIFT YOUR THINKING. It takes practice, but the benefits are immeasurable. Here is a two-phase approach that you can adopt today that will help you on your way toward more beneficial thought practices.

Phase One: Identify Limiting Thoughts

In order to start the process, you need to pay attention. What are the nasty thoughts that you say to yourself throughout your day? Actively listen, and identify these negative thoughts. Devote a journal to this process, and write these thoughts down. Now, consider:

What has that particular negative thought cost you? What are the consequences of such thoughts? Write them down.

What are the benefits of these thoughts? What do you get out of them?  Write these down next to the costs, then compare the two lists.

I’m willing to bet the negative consequences far outweigh the benefits, which means it’s time to move on to phase two…

Phase Two: Reframe Limiting Thoughts – Step 1

There’s a big secret when it comes to how we think. That big secret? We CREATE our thinking.  Doesn’t sound like much of a secret, does it? But it’s huge! Let me explain.  Events happen in life—your mom yells at you, your dad praises you, you fall down, the “in” group fails to acknowledge your existence—these sorts of happenings we call “events.” As these events happen, we all create our own meaning for them, based on all kinds of factors—how we were raised, the culture in which we live, the relationships we foster, and much more. Most of the time, that meaning does not disrupt our lives. Other times, the meaning we create is destructive. Let’s use some examples:

Example one: Assume your partner yells at you. This is the “event.” You then think to yourself, “I’m a loser.” You have now given meaning to the event.

Example two: You offer your services to someone, they say no thank you (the “event.”) You translate this to mean: “I’m horrible in business and will never be successful.”

If you believe you are a loser, then you ARE. It doesn’t matter if it’s true or not, because the reality you create becomes the truth. The problem isn’t the event itself – the problem lies in the interpretation of the event, or the meaning you give to the event.  The secret is that the meaning is completely within your control. What if, for example, you had interpreted your partner’s yelling (the “event”) as an indication that she is having a bad day, and is upset about something unrelated to you? What if someone saying no to your services instead means that you need to focus more on outlining the value of what you offer (good feedback) or that maybe they are not on the market for what you’re offering?

In order to reframe limiting thoughts, you must first question their validity. Are they true? Who are they coming from? Why did you choose to interpret them that way? Are there other valid explanations or interpretations you should explore? These steps are all part of a larger overall process designed to grant your whole life a new, more positive perspective. I’ll cover more steps in our monthly newsletters, and even more on the website. I hope you’ll take part in the continued journey!

For more on constructive ways to transform your thoughts and enhance your life, visit Amy at www.amyapplebaum.com

To Your Success,

Amy